James Watson

We started talking about DNA and all that jazz today in class, which to me is incredibly fascinating. So I found a video of James Watson talking about his DNA discoveries and I was in awe. I thought it was witty, informational, and awesome to be sitting listening to the man who discovered the double helix give a talk! I didn't even know he was still alive and then to listen to him talk!!! What a privilege.

Well, I guess the nerd in me was really showing because my students didn't think it was good at all. They actually thought it was boring.

Boo.

Maybe one day they will look back at this oh-so-incredible education opportunity and realize its value. And see how cool I was to let them watch it ;)

Easy A

Yesterday I told my kids we would be having a MATCHING VOCABULARY test today and gave them a list of the vocab words that they should make sure they know.

Today they are failing the test.

Tomorrow they will forget they failed because they don't care.

So my question is this: if these kids can't even do a simple matching vocabulary test, how will they be able to be successful in life?

Quote of the day!

"Well, if we lived in America, school would have been canceled since we are freezing. Most schools cancel because of a mouse infestation. Here we just name them."



Burges does not have heat and as I am writing it is 60 degrees in my room. This is at the end of the day so the kids have warmed it up a bit. Needless to say its super cold!

My Chola

I have a lump in my throat, a pit in my stomach, and I am holding back tears because I know once I start crying I won’t be able to stop.

Today was the first day back from Christmas break. I had a bunch of new students to meet, my old students were actually glad to be back and it was an overall good day. But something was missing. Someone was missing.

On the first day of school in August she walked in with a “limp”, an obvious, purposeful limp. Her lip liner dark, her earrings big, and her clothes black and baggy. She was a chola. And to be honest, I thought ‘good Lord help me’ because I was worried. Is she going to cuss me out? Is she going to shank me? Will she care about school at all? Will I be fighting with her all year?

But she came in my room sat down and was surprisingly quiet. She kept to herself most of the class period and seemed to be doodling in her notebook instead of taking notes and paying attention. I, being the nosy teacher I am, went to go check out the doodles to find her not doodling but drawing. And it was INCREDIBLE albeit probably the scariest clown I have ever seen.

We started talking about her drawing. I told her she was very talented and asked her if she had any other sketches in her book. I was blown away. Her roses looked real. Her tears looked wet and her graffiti looked like fine art.

Over the first couple of weeks we talked…a lot. I found out she had been arrested about 25 times. She had a 3 year stint in juvy. A lot of teachers associated her with her sister who was apparently a trouble student and she didn’t like that. But I also learned that she loves people. She is super compassionate. She is naturally smart. And she would come visit me every day and give me a hug.

So today, when she didn’t come to give me a hug and when she didn’t show up to class I was worried. No one in class knew where she was and I decided to text her. I asked her where she was and she replied downtown. She had been to court a couple of times fall semester so I figured she was there. I asked her why she was there and she told me she was barely getting out.

Barely getting out? What does that mean? Well she was barely getting out of jail. Today is January 4. She got arrested December 26 for fighting. She was in jail for 10 days.

I’m not saying that she didn’t deserve to be in jail, because she busted a girls head open so yes she deserved to be there. But what I am saying is that I HATE that she was there. Because I know that she was hardened. That her heart was hardened. That a part of her love for people died. That a part of her compassion turned to hatred. AND I HATE IT!!!!!

As we talked over text message, she told me she was just a kid from the ghetto. I told her she was beautiful, smart, talented and bigger than this mess. I told her she had the world at her feet. That I loved her and I want her to love herself. That I want her to see herself as I see her. That she can get away from it if she wants to. Yes, it would be hard. Yes, she would hurt some people. But yes, she can do it. She can have a better life.

I asked if she was coming to school tomorrow and she was unsure because of what she was charged with. At this point in our conversation I thought she had just been arrested for fighting. But she was charged with attempted murder. The girl with the busted head ended up in the ICU.

So what happens now? How does she recover from this? I feel like I failed her. I feel like somewhere I didn’t do enough to help her. But I also feel like no matter what I would have done it would never have been enough to save her from herself.

How do we keep this from happening? How do we nurture the good? How do we shelter from the bad? How do I tell them about Jesus and keep church and state separate? How do I show them a better world, a better life that they know nothing of?

I sit and think about this and am at a loss. I know that at this point, I can do no more. I have to wait to see her sentence as she is in the courts hands. But I pray, I beg, that this will not define her life. That this will not define who she is.

I don’t know how to end this blog because I don’t know this end of this story. I don’t know where my chola will be tomorrow, in a couple of days, in a few years. So if you are reading this I ask that you pray for her. What to pray for I don’t know…..but pray for her.

Desperation

According to Dictionary.com, desperation means "the state of being desperate or of having the recklessness of despair."

So in my desperation to get my kids to pass, I had them text me their cell phone numbers so that I can text them reminders about class. My students have my cell phone number.

Was is this a rash decision? Yes. Will I probably change my number at the end of the year? Yes. Is it helping my kids remember? Yes. So is it worth it? Absofreakinlutely!

Although I get some random texts from students that I have to ignore...this was my best idea yet. This way, they cannot say they forgot, or didn't know. I have PROOF they knew. I have PROOF they were told. It is, my friends, the best thing I have done all year.

80 to 100 times a day

I was driving to school the other morning and you know how they have the morning radio trivia caller iner question thingy???? Well that particular mornings was 'What does an average person do 80 to 100 times a day?'

I had no clue. I couldn't think of a single thing I do 80 - 100 times day...maybe yawn? No....blink? That would have to be more.....Wish I was somewhere else? Welll....maybe not 100 times a day...

I was stumped. Then someone called in and said cuss. In the split second before the DJ told him he was right or wrong I thought NO WAY! AND HE WAS RIGHT! CUSS! The average person cusses 80 to 100 times a day! Holy moly!

Then I walked into school.

And was greeted with a "you wouldn't f****** believe what this f****** b**** did to me. What the f***?!?!?!"

Oh well good morning to you too dear.

Then I started to think....80 to 100 times a day was underestimate for the majority of my students. They cuss. And they cuss a lot.

I remember my first day of work, I was dumb founded. I had never in my life heard so much profanity. And NOTHING was being done about it!

There was always an argument in my college ministry about cussing. Some people said they are just words, others thought they were bad, some were in the middle like me.

You stub your toe you say the s word - big deal. You almost run someone over because you dont see them walking across the street because people in your town don't know what a crosswalk is and you say the s word - big deal.

But when every other word in your sentence is the F word....I do believe that is a big deal.

Come to El Paso, listen to conversations. No matter the age, no matter the company, someone is dropping F bombs left and right and it's not a big deal.

I said the s word ONCE in front of my dad and I thought I was about to lose my life. And I thought he was going to have a coronary.

But here, in this town, in these schools, who cares.

The phrase 'cussing like a sailor' doesn't make sense to them because everyone cusses.

I don't know how this started, where this became an okay way to talk, but it's shocking.

I don't cuss in front of my students. They know that I will call them out on their language. They know not to cuss in front of me (well atleast some try not to).

I told them that if the only adjective they know is effing, then they need to expand their vocabulary.

Pray for this place. These people. My students.

Because cussing is just the tip of this iceberg.

Failure is not an option.

That phrase....those precious words....do not exist in my students vocabulary. Why? Because no one has ever told them that. They have been allowed, and expected, to fail their entire lives.

I gave a test today. 30 questions straight from the homework and the notes and the study guide we went over in class.

3 people passed.

out of 100.

only.3.

I asked them to raise their hands if they studied. Only 3.

Do they care? Are they now worried about their grades? Nope.

What happened here? Why do my students not care? Why are their parents allowing them to fail? Why do they not do their homework? Why is one of kids average a 17?

Parent-teacher conferences were last night, only 9 parents came. Do I think that this is a direct reflection onto my students? Absolutely.

If the parents dont care then why should the kids?

How do I make them care?

How do I get them to be successful in my class?

How do I get them to pass?

I don't feel bad for them anymore. I am beyond that. I am to a point of extreme frustration, disbelief, and annoyance.

Tomorrow they will learn that failure is not an option.
They will learn that I care if they fail.
They will learn that they will pass this class.
They will learn to study.
They will learn to do their homework.

And they will learn that making the teacher mad does not work well in their favor.