I made this blog so that I could write about school. Share the funny and crazy stories of my day.... but this year, though it has been crazy, has been very far from funny.
I cried at school today. Not because a student cussed me out, or wouldn’t do what they were supposed to, or called me a bad teacher....but because my heart breaks for my kids. And today it broke into a thousand pieces. One thing after another happened and I was broken for my students.
i love my student. I really do. I think maybe my relationship with some of them might be a little too deep but I can’t help it. I know them, their family lives, their stories....and they need me. They need me to love them, to minister to them, to be a positive, guiding influence in their life.
It started early this morning, before the bell even rang, when a former student told me that one of current students is the father to four. After soaking that in another student came to me to talk about the escapades of her crazy, and I mean CRAZY life. She fought with a teacher yesterday, has a warrant for her arrest, her cousin got arrested, was talking about the fights she had been in.....and I sat there listening with tears in my eyes....
Another student of mine told me that a male teacher at school makes her uncomfortable and that he says things to her that she doesn’t like.....
Another student told me about her time in juvy and about how easy it is to steal from Walmart.....
A student that is not even mine talked to me about her thinking she was pregnant....
Then one of my students talked to me about her thinking she was pregnant too....
A lot of my kids don’t know their dads.....
All are exposed to drugs on a daily basis....
Three of my students have already dropped out....
I cried.
And I apologized to them.
I am sorry that they have to deal with gangs, drugs, pregnancies, crappy parents, and crappy situations.
I am sorry that they have lost their childhood to a mean and ugly place.
I am sorry that I cant save them from getting in trouble and getting hurt.
I am sorry that no one loved them enough to protect them.
I am sorry that their parents just want to be their friends and not their disciplinarians.
And I cried.
For them.
For their families.
For this city.
Because it is broken. Very broken.
Lindsay! I admire you for this! And I cannot even imagine how they must feel, but they are very lucky to have someone stable and caring in their lives like you. As hard as it must be to do that and hear that everyday, think about what you are doing for them just LISTENING!
ReplyDeleteGod Bless you for committing your life to this work.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless you for sharing this experience with the rest of us.
God Bless you for not giving up!
Oh, I am crying just reading this! But you are doing for them what many do not take time for...Listening! They are blessed to have you in their lives and you were clearly put there for a reason. Keep up the good work, Teach! Show them that there is a better way.
ReplyDeleteA.
That describes almost every school in America...
ReplyDeleteAw, McGrail....this is heartbreaking. I'm so proud of you for just getting up & going into that world everyday, never knowing what you will be faced with. Those kids are so lucky to have you!
ReplyDeletelove, Merr
"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.' Matthew 25:40
ReplyDeleteYou actually care which is something those students don't see often. I have talked to teachers where im from in Texas I mention El Paso and knowing teachers there they look at me and ask me if my friends are crazy. You are doing a great thing and will be blessed because of it.