Desperation

According to Dictionary.com, desperation means "the state of being desperate or of having the recklessness of despair."

So in my desperation to get my kids to pass, I had them text me their cell phone numbers so that I can text them reminders about class. My students have my cell phone number.

Was is this a rash decision? Yes. Will I probably change my number at the end of the year? Yes. Is it helping my kids remember? Yes. So is it worth it? Absofreakinlutely!

Although I get some random texts from students that I have to ignore...this was my best idea yet. This way, they cannot say they forgot, or didn't know. I have PROOF they knew. I have PROOF they were told. It is, my friends, the best thing I have done all year.

80 to 100 times a day

I was driving to school the other morning and you know how they have the morning radio trivia caller iner question thingy???? Well that particular mornings was 'What does an average person do 80 to 100 times a day?'

I had no clue. I couldn't think of a single thing I do 80 - 100 times day...maybe yawn? No....blink? That would have to be more.....Wish I was somewhere else? Welll....maybe not 100 times a day...

I was stumped. Then someone called in and said cuss. In the split second before the DJ told him he was right or wrong I thought NO WAY! AND HE WAS RIGHT! CUSS! The average person cusses 80 to 100 times a day! Holy moly!

Then I walked into school.

And was greeted with a "you wouldn't f****** believe what this f****** b**** did to me. What the f***?!?!?!"

Oh well good morning to you too dear.

Then I started to think....80 to 100 times a day was underestimate for the majority of my students. They cuss. And they cuss a lot.

I remember my first day of work, I was dumb founded. I had never in my life heard so much profanity. And NOTHING was being done about it!

There was always an argument in my college ministry about cussing. Some people said they are just words, others thought they were bad, some were in the middle like me.

You stub your toe you say the s word - big deal. You almost run someone over because you dont see them walking across the street because people in your town don't know what a crosswalk is and you say the s word - big deal.

But when every other word in your sentence is the F word....I do believe that is a big deal.

Come to El Paso, listen to conversations. No matter the age, no matter the company, someone is dropping F bombs left and right and it's not a big deal.

I said the s word ONCE in front of my dad and I thought I was about to lose my life. And I thought he was going to have a coronary.

But here, in this town, in these schools, who cares.

The phrase 'cussing like a sailor' doesn't make sense to them because everyone cusses.

I don't know how this started, where this became an okay way to talk, but it's shocking.

I don't cuss in front of my students. They know that I will call them out on their language. They know not to cuss in front of me (well atleast some try not to).

I told them that if the only adjective they know is effing, then they need to expand their vocabulary.

Pray for this place. These people. My students.

Because cussing is just the tip of this iceberg.

Failure is not an option.

That phrase....those precious words....do not exist in my students vocabulary. Why? Because no one has ever told them that. They have been allowed, and expected, to fail their entire lives.

I gave a test today. 30 questions straight from the homework and the notes and the study guide we went over in class.

3 people passed.

out of 100.

only.3.

I asked them to raise their hands if they studied. Only 3.

Do they care? Are they now worried about their grades? Nope.

What happened here? Why do my students not care? Why are their parents allowing them to fail? Why do they not do their homework? Why is one of kids average a 17?

Parent-teacher conferences were last night, only 9 parents came. Do I think that this is a direct reflection onto my students? Absolutely.

If the parents dont care then why should the kids?

How do I make them care?

How do I get them to be successful in my class?

How do I get them to pass?

I don't feel bad for them anymore. I am beyond that. I am to a point of extreme frustration, disbelief, and annoyance.

Tomorrow they will learn that failure is not an option.
They will learn that I care if they fail.
They will learn that they will pass this class.
They will learn to study.
They will learn to do their homework.

And they will learn that making the teacher mad does not work well in their favor.

I am a science teacher...

...because I love science.

I like labs. I always learned more when I was actually able to see and do, more so than just lecture. So I decided we would do a lab. I got all the supplies I needed from the Science Resource Center a week ago. I made copies of the lab (and if you are a teacher then you know how precious copies are) and I made an answer sheet for each student. I got to school early and set up the lab. I cracked eggs to get egg whites, melted butter, cut up potatoes (just to name a few), and I got all the chemicals ready. I put each class into lab groups, had a student number my tables, and put away my projector and speaker so that I could use my cart.

They were to take some tests tubes and fill them with various food products, some being solid and some being a liquid. They would then put a chemical and see the reaction between the chemical and the food and this would show what was in the food.

Simple right? WRONG!!!!

1.) Apparently my students don't know how to read.
2.) Nor do they know what 'you are doing two parts' means.
3.)They also didnt think that wearing goggles was cool so they didn't.
4.) They thought it would be funny to throw potato, spinach and tuna in the sink in stead of in the trash can.
5.) They also thought, hey why dont we put the back of a stool in the sink, clog it up, then turn the water on so that we almost fill the sink up.
6.) Hanging up an apron was obviously too big of a task for them comprehend.
7.) As was putting their goggles back where they came from.
8.) Instead of cleaning their test tubes out they thought it would be better to just put them in the sink.
9.) That is, for the ones that they didn't break.
10.) And watching chemical reactions wasn't 'explosive' enough for them.

Will we do a lab again? Nope.

You're welcome.

Mums the word!

In good 'ol Texas there is a tradition...a homecoming tradition. And I do not understand this tradition at all.

i do not know these girls, i just googled 'homecoming mums' and this is what popped up....this is just a picture of the mums i am talking about. i am in no way making fun of these girls.

Apparently it started out small.

"Homecoming mums are a Texas tradition that began in the 1920s. Fresh Chrysanthemum Flowers were originally used with a few ribbons and were given to boyfreinds and girlfriends. In the 1960s, homecoming mums began being made from silk flowers with additional items added to signify what activities the students were involved in. The Homecoming mums have become a huge tradition in Texas and many girls keep the Homecoming mums to adorn the walls of their room to remember the year." (from a dallas mum website)

But now they are massive! And I mean HUGE!!! The guys give them to the girls and then they wear them around their neck...I have read that they can cost over $100 and weigh up to 12lbs!

Who wants to wear 12lbs on their neck?!

I mean, I can understand flowers, or corsages, or even buttons with stuff coming off of it - but this, to me, is super mind boggling.

I can't wait to see this madness walking around the hall of Burges Homecoming week!

Lord have mercy..haha.

how do i even begin....

I made this blog so that I could write about school. Share the funny and crazy stories of my day.... but this year, though it has been crazy, has been very far from funny.

I cried at school today. Not because a student cussed me out, or wouldn’t do what they were supposed to, or called me a bad teacher....but because my heart breaks for my kids. And today it broke into a thousand pieces. One thing after another happened and I was broken for my students.

i love my student. I really do. I think maybe my relationship with some of them might be a little too deep but I can’t help it. I know them, their family lives, their stories....and they need me. They need me to love them, to minister to them, to be a positive, guiding influence in their life.

It started early this morning, before the bell even rang, when a former student told me that one of current students is the father to four. After soaking that in another student came to me to talk about the escapades of her crazy, and I mean CRAZY life. She fought with a teacher yesterday, has a warrant for her arrest, her cousin got arrested, was talking about the fights she had been in.....and I sat there listening with tears in my eyes....

Another student of mine told me that a male teacher at school makes her uncomfortable and that he says things to her that she doesn’t like.....

Another student told me about her time in juvy and about how easy it is to steal from Walmart.....

A student that is not even mine talked to me about her thinking she was pregnant....

Then one of my students talked to me about her thinking she was pregnant too....

A lot of my kids don’t know their dads.....

All are exposed to drugs on a daily basis....

Three of my students have already dropped out....

I cried.

And I apologized to them.

I am sorry that they have to deal with gangs, drugs, pregnancies, crappy parents, and crappy situations.

I am sorry that they have lost their childhood to a mean and ugly place.

I am sorry that I cant save them from getting in trouble and getting hurt.

I am sorry that no one loved them enough to protect them.

I am sorry that their parents just want to be their friends and not their disciplinarians.

And I cried.

For them.

For their families.

For this city.

Because it is broken. Very broken.